Me too

 

You didn’t smack me in the face,
Or break a bone or burn my skin.
But you left footprints of abuse,
All over me when I let you in.

Like a guest that burned my house down.

And the saddest fucking thing?
You’re not evil but you’re sick.
My goodness held me hostage,
I wish that I’d have called the police.

It was never my job to fix you,
But you threatened to take our lives.
I ‘made you’ do some awful things,
I’m almost alright, almost all the time.

 

 

 

 

You turned me inside out

 

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Many different men have claimed to love me,
Caressed my curls and held my body close.
But you’re the first of them to ever know me,
Sifted through a thousand fakes to find me.

Look, I wasn’t good before I met you,
Nor bad, just lost and acting all the time.
You turned me inside-out so hard and fast
The webs of my lies caught the light.

You turned me inside out and back to front.
I coughed up a sea of hurt and deceit,
Choked on filth too sticky to drink
Like an ex-smoker chokes up thick tar.

You know I have broken hearts before,
Watched them hold on tight as they begged for more.
I was so very lost before
You found me on that dark dance floor.

The Black Hole

The Black Hole was never born in space,
Among the stars or down below.
Nor on a craggy mountain edge,
Though pounded by an ice-cold wind.

Lonely like the sun-bleached bones
On a sandy plain that’s long forgot.
Hurting like the splitting rocks,
That shriek out-loud as they turn to sand.

The Black Hole lies beneath my chest,
Within my ribs that ache and groan.
It takes a quiet, gentle breath and
Without a word, it swallows me, whole.

forget you.

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I have to forget you.
I just can’t bear to think.
Of how a toothpaste grin
Met my blurry eyes
Across the grubby bathroom sink

We can’t talk anymore.
I just can’t bear to think.
Of how you’d hold me tight
Like your raggy doll
My tentacle toes on your skin

I don’t cry very much.
Until I hear the breeze
We sprawled out on the ground
Yellow coat stained green
The bikes laid down beneath the trees

The evidence of you

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The evidence of you,
Is written all across my bones,
Etched deep inside with sharp-edged flint,
And it aches when my breath goes cold.

There’s a chip in my bedroom paint,
Where your picture tacked to the wall,
And tea stains on my crinkled sheets,
From breakfast way past afternoon.

I catch you in a strangers scent,
On the street or deep in the tube,
Smother a breath inside my chest,
I’m endlessly in want of you.

A wreckless hearted girl

sticky-feet

Sometimes I take pills to sleep,

Twisting thinking kept at bay,

Sometimes I hit snooze again,

And I sleep through the night and day.

 

Sometimes I am strong and proud,

Stand in blizzards open-eyed,

Scream the storm to gentle clouds,

The sky can fall and I don’t mind.

 

But a playful autumn wind,

Could tear my roots from the ground,

I am cruel and I am kind,

My mind’s a bloody battleground.

 

I’m a wreckless hearted girl,

I’ve hurt people that I love,

I am so sorry for that,

But sometimes I don’t give a fuck.

 

I am generosity,

I am selfish as can be,

I’m strength and I am feeble,

I am doubt and I’m carefree.

 

I am a flood of feeling,

And I am a drought as well,

That turns it’s face from rainfall.

Indifference lies inside my cells.

 

I don’t understand at all.

I am not a set out form.

I am a wavering force,

Oh I can rise but then I fall.