Last week I was doing the classic sprint to the kitchen in my nudey pants for a glass of water when my house mate came out of her room to a bit of a shock. First, she burst out laughing, then screamed, then stared quite closely at my boobs and said ‘my nipples are different from yours.’ She frowned a little.
I proceeded to dance around the living room and let myself have a merry little wobble whilst she covered her eyes in protest and ran back into her bedroom, but it made me think.
At 21, you would think that we realise that all our bodies are different and accept ourselves for who we are. But, as we all know, after a couple of glasses of rose that ‘I’m an adult now, I’m cool with my body’ façade tends to slip right down into the bottle of wine.
Some things my friends have said to me about their nipples after a drink:
- ‘mine are too big’
- ‘mine are too small’
- ‘are mine weird?’
- ‘Mine are too light’
- ‘Mine are darker’
- ‘mine are too__’ (insert any adjective here… keep it pg friendly)
I’ve never had a friend tell me that they like the way their vagina or breasts look, and the vast majority say they feels theirs are somehow not normal or unattractive. Most young ladies have had an experience at a party or sleepover where we’ve done the comparison count down.
…and we have a peek at each other’s private places just to make sure that we aren’t somehow mutated down there and a shame on womankind. It’s no wonder, with porn stars often having had surgery on their labia to slice it down to a ‘neat’ tucked in vagina. In porn and TV we see breasts that have been surgically altered or photoshopped and we’ve become more and more confused about how we ‘should’ look and whether there is something terribly wrong with us.
I remember once thinking that I’d never be able to find love because I thought my vagina was ugly. I was 14. It is so not ok that I’ve been made to feel this way. If you are physically able to enjoy a healthy sex life, then there is nothing to worry about.
Colour, size, texture, you name it I’ve had friends gingerly admit that they are worried about how they look ‘down there.’
You are so not alone if you are having these worries, and if they are affecting you badly then go see your GP.
But remember, the nudity we see in pornographic images is not REAL. The sex isn’t real, the bodies aren’t REAL. Growing up was hard enough before the free and instant distribution of pornographic images to freak out and compare yourself to, and it changes all our perceptions on what sex really should be.
You are beautiful.
NB: If in doubt have a glass of wine and show your best mate your boobs.